SIGHT TO THE BLIND

As some people know, my youngest son was born with an eye that doesn't work. When we first went to the eye doctors, he couldn't see the big "E" close up. The past two years have been difficult as we blur the good eye and cover it with a patch. For a whole year, no change occurred. Then we began to really pray and at his last visit, he could see the third line.

A week ago, my pastor held a healing service. I believed I would take him down front and poof! he'd be healed. (I do believe this happens, since it has happened to me.) But when we got down there, my son went back to his seat the same. I struggled with this for days. Was my faith lacking? Did I have something in my life holding back the blessing? What did I do wrong? Then it hit me...I didn't do anything wrong. Look at this story in Mark:

Mark 8:22-25 "They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?"
He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around."
Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly."

My son sees the "trees walking around." Jesus is healing him, but the process is like this blind man in Mark 8. People have asked for centuries, "Why Jesus didn't just heal the man outright?" In Matthew 20 "[Jesus] touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight." He had the power to do it, but chose not to. Why? How can we know the mind of God?

There is a reason my son (and me) are going through this. He prays for his eyes every night and he is being healed. I can't second guess God, I just need to have faith. Faith that he loves my child and faith that he is healing him in His time. In the end, the blind man "saw everything clearly." And I believe my son will too. It is a matter of patience, perseverance, faith, and prayer. And when it is all said and done, my son's testimony will be right here!

God Knows Where I Am

In the past several months, I've had this amazing anxiety about my future. Wondering what God's will is for my life. Praying for dreams to come true and for my future to make sense. It's been painful.

My pastor said something the other day that struck home. He said, "God knows right where we are." I have this control issue where I think I have to go out and make God's will happen. Like, if I don't make the calls or write the letters, it will never come true. But I should know better. Most miracles in my life have come when I wasn't looking.

A woman once told me no man can keep me from God's will. I think that includes me. I make all these efforts, but to what end? I don't really want anything not ordained by Him anyway. So, what do I need to do? Learn to wait on Him.

He blesses me daily and I need to remember that. Already I have two books coming out in 2007: "The Human Video Handbook--Christian Outreach through Mime, Music & Dance" and "Reveille of the Heart." Thank you, Lord for blessing me...despite my interference.